4 Psychology-Backed Ways to Be More Likable -The Muse

4 Psychology-Backed Ways to Be More Likable -The Muse4 Psychology-Backed Ways to Be More LikableHumans are a quirky lot. We like to believe were hyper logical, but our behavior- and research- suggest otherwise. Were heavily swayed by the people, messages, and circumstances around us- but, wait, this is actually a good thing Understanding the peculiarities of our psychology can be advantageous.Specifically, there are four psychological insights that you can use as a starting point to build strategic relationships and garner goodwill throughout your network. Why do this? Well, to get ahead, of course. Im elend talking about manipulation. Im talking about making small, simple moves to cultivate professional relationships and be mora likable.1. Show UpIf you want to connect with someone, you have to be near that person, preferably in the same physical space. Obvious, right?But theres some interesting research that suggests that people tend to favor people theyve seen before- even if they didnt interact- over those theyve never laid eyes on. And, the more they see those individuals the more they like them (this also works on things, FYI). Known as the Mere Exposure Effect, it suggests that a starting point for connecting with others is creating opportunities for paths to cross. How to Do ItGet creative, but dont go overboard. If theres someone you want to connect with, maybe you find yourself grabbing coffee at the same time, or you strike up conversation while you both wait for the elevator. Why it MattersYou cant connect with someone you never see. There are lots of ways to pursue an introduction to a key person, but just getting in front of them first may boost your likability and improve your chances of hitting it off when you do meet.2. Find Common GroundIn The Best Place To Work The Art and Science of Creating an Extraordinary Workplace Ron Freeman explains, The more we have in common with othersthe more we tend to like them. This similarity doesnt have to be a deep, philosophical belief, nor does it need to be work-related. You might like a certain musician, app, game- whatever. The options for finding common ground are endless. How to Do ItBe genuine. Surely, you can find one area to connect on, and when you do, dont forget it. Build off of your mutual interest in cold brew coffee or outdoor concerts, and find a way to work it into future conversations.Why it MattersDiscovering you share a similarity with a co-worker helps to form a trusting relationship. And when you have trust, theres room to grow and collaborate together. 3. Be a GiverSeveral years ago I helped a friend move in the sweltering Texas heat. It was a truly miserable day. But I did it because my friend had helped me in the past. Enter the rule of reciprocity. In his book Give and Take Why Helping Others Drives Our Success Adam Grant details how givers often come out ahead in the long run compared with matchers and takers, in no small part because their actions endear t hemselves to others. How to Do ItThink of a problem you can solve or practical aid you can offer someone you want to connect with. Even just lending something small can work beautifully I read this book recently about leadership I thought you might enjoy reading it, too.Why it MattersWith gestures like these, youre not only proving your chops as a dependable colleague and team player, youre setting yourself up to be able to request help when you need it. Thats important- considering that no one makes it to the top without support. 4. Do as They DoIf you really want to boost your likeability, research out of Duke University suggests mimicking the person youre talking to. Thats right- do as they do and speak as they speak. When you understand how this dynamic can literally make you better liked, its a no-brainer thing to begin doing. How to Do ItThe key here is subtlety- overdoing it could backfire. If the other person leans forward as they speak to you, gently lean forward as well. Dont get caught up in trying to literally copy every move. You want to look natural, not forced.Why it MattersMimicry is part of what connects us to others. It signals our alignment with the person we mimic. In fact, people intentionally behave differently from people they dont want to be associated with. Bear in mind that none of these approaches are magic. These are, at the end of the day, simply insights that might be helpful if used correctly. If you want to build strong professional relationships and be liked, start by treating others well, use these psychological insights to give you an edge.